THE PLIGHT OF A WIDOW IN ZAMBIA
What is property grabbing?
It is an unlawful depriving a beneficiary of his or her property or share of property left by a deceased parent, spouse or single person. Property grabbing is a serious dehumanizing act with no regard for dignity and honor for God’s creation. This evil inhuman, immoral, primitive and criminal behaviour must be condemned and discarded right away and a new standard set for the new generation to come. The worlds’ best seller in Exodus 22:22-24 reads:-
“You shall no afflict any widow or orphan, if you afflict him at all, and if he does cry out to me, I will surely hear his cry; and my anger will be kindled, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.”
To be widowed in Zambia is a terrible and dreadful experience. It is like being sentenced to life imprisonment for murder one did not commit. A widow is suspected of being haunted by the ghost of her late husband. As a result she is shunned by her friends and other members of society. The Ghost is said to be deadly and contagious so much that if any person marries or has sex with her before she is cleansed, that person would die or run mad. The ghost is not only dangerous and harmful to others but to the widow as well. Her married friends do not want to associate with her for fear of the misfortune of losing their husbands too. To make things worse, society also demands that a widow must be cleansed. Cleansing is a serious dehumanizing act which must be discouraged.
Our society’s attitude and behaviour towards widows is not different from that which Israelites had towards lepers in bible days. It was required of a leper in bible days. It was required of leper to go about shouting the words: “Unclean! Unclean! Unclean!” This was meant to warn the unsuspecting person who may have got in contact with the leper and contract leprosy. It was terrible life of loneliness that lepers experienced. It took a man like Jesus to reach out and touch the lepers amidst great opposition and criticism from the Pharisees and religious leaders.
It is required of a widow to go about in her mourning attire for not less than a year during which she is not expected to marry but to mourn her husband. This demand or requirement does not apply to a widower who is free to marry in less than six months and society will not be bothered by this action.
CLEANSING
What is cleansing?
Cleansing is a traditional practice in whitch a widow or widower is required to have sex with one of the deceased’s relatives with a view of exorcising the ghost from the surviving spouse. There is a very strong belief among most Zambians that a widow or widower in haunted by the ghost of her or his dead husband and for this very reason it it required of the surviving spouse to be cleansed. Besides the cleansing-by-sex methos thre are other methods like that of smearing mealie meal or the tying of a string of white beads on the wrist of the victim.
Is cleansing necessary?
Cleansing is not necessary for it has no scientific or biblical basis.
But to a “Zambian indeed” it is not only necessary but expedient. It is not only the uneducated who believe in cleansing but the intellectuals and the wealthy too. During our workshops on this subject many people have given many examples of widows or widowers who have died or run mad as a result of breaching some traditional requirements. It is not only widows who are harmed by the ghost but the man or woman who marries or has sex with the uncleansed person.
In order to find a lasting solution to the plight of a widow in Zambia we need to answer some of the most difficult questions like:
a) Is the surviving spouse haunted by a ghost of the late husband?
If not, how do you explain the misfortune that befalls the uncleansd widows or widowers in Zambia?
If your answer is yes, how do you account for the well-being of those tribes and other nationalities who do not practice cleansing?
Refusal to cleanse a widow or widower, be the decreased relatives, is being used as punishment of victim today.
There is a traditional practice in Luapula province known as “Tobolola.” It is in this practice that a widow or widower is accused of being responsible for the death of a spouse and therefore is required of the victim to pay goats, bags of mealie meal, cooking oil, sugar, salt, money. This has become worse especially in our AIDS torn society. If one of the two dies then it is the surviving spouse that shall be accused of being responsible for the death of the spouse. This has become commercialized, oppressive and unjust. The most unfortunate thing among our people is that they are so superstitious that every misfortune or death that occurs is associated to witchcraft. That’s wy you will find most of them go witch hunting when death has occurred in the family. They just can’t accept death.
b) What is the solution to the problem of fear of witchcraft which is common among our people?
The fear of witchcraft is so real among our people that the law of succession has failed to take effect since 1989. Widows and widowers are intimidated with death through witchcraft practices. This makes them sacrifice their right to property.
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
Women subject fellow women to physical and psychological torture at the time of loss of a spouse. A woman’s conduct in marriage has a very significant impact on the outcome after the death of her husband. In several incidents it is the sisters and aunties who are in the forefront of the ill treatment of widows. A widow is often accused of being responsible for the death of her husband. Even if he died a natural death, they will still find a way of explaining away this misfortune. Our people believe that there is no natural death, those who die are simply killed. Even if a person dies of a natural calamity or of an accident, people will still find an excuse claiming that someone might have played some magic on the victim. Many believe that misfortunes are as a result of spells that are cast upon people by witches. The most popular spell is known “Icisomo.”
Generally Africans are afraid death and this is expressed in their behaviour after death has occurred. In many cases the beating of a widow is meant to intimidate her so that they can later take away the property with minimum or no resistance at all. It is rather strange to see that women should be more sympathetic to widows are often in the forefront of victimizing fellow women. The injustice is mostly inflicted on women by in-laws (sisters, mothers, etcetera) of the dead relative. This is a double tragedy on the part of the widow. Instead of being moer concerned with the widow and the upkeep of the children, the relatives choose to “loot” all the property, leaving the widows and orphans destitute.
MARY’S PLIGHT
Little did Mary know that each time her husband’s relatives and her relatives visited her home they took inventory of all that they owned. This was done secretly. This came to light after she lost her husband Joseph in a road accident. When time came to share property, her father in-law produced a list of items that were in the house. This list included items which the deceased had given away to some relatives a long time ago. The widow had trouble convincing the father-in-law that the items he was asking for were given away and others were sold off in order to buy new and better ones. As far as they were concerned the daughter in law was hiding some property, and because of this allegation the widow was deprived of all her property as a way of punishing her.
When she tried to take a bold stand by taking legal action against her in laws, her own relatives told her to cooperate with the in-laws for fear of being bewitched if she insisted on taking legal action against the in-laws, and that she would not be cleansed. After they shared all the property and the money, all the relatives on both sides left and went back to their respective homes. It is at this time that she felt the effect of widowhood trauma. She had no food and cooking utensils since everything was taken.
It was not long before all five children were out of school because they did not pay school fees and they had no books and uniforms. As if this was not enough the company asked them to vacate the house because the three months notice to vacate the house was over. At this moment she decided to move into a shanty compound where she has to rent a one-bedroom hut. What surprised her most was the complete absence of the relatives who has earlier or discouraged her from taking legal action against the property grabbers. None of them offered to take any of the orphans neither to give them some food for a night. She felt deceived and betrayed by those whom she had trusted. It was these sad incidents which made her miss her husband even more. She finally concluded that the world is cruel and there is no justice under the sun. Especially when she recalled the negative attitude she experienced when she called upon the police to assist by stopping the property grabbers from removing any of the items in the house. One of the policemen said that her case was a family affair which needed no police attention. If she is not satisfied she can take them (in-laaws) to the local court. Furthermore the policeman was not ready to involve himself in other people’s family affairs for fear of being bewitched and having to leave his children fatherless.
Finally the widow made up her mind and trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ to help her overcome her problems. She prayed day and night over her problems. She prayed day and night over her problems until she solved them through the Lord’s guidance. She managed to educate all her children and Lord turned her sorrows into joy.
WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF PROPERTY GRABBIING?
There are many reasons for this inhuman behaviour. We can list a few, namely:
a) Poverty
Mass poverty which is prevalent in Zambia is one of the major contributing factors to the increased rate of property grabbing. Like vultures, relatives wait patiently for the demise of a wealthy kin in order to plunder all his or her property at the expense of the widow, widower or orphans.
b) Strained Marital Relations
Very often unstable marriages give an occasion to property grabbers to justify their behaviour. The widow is often accused of being responsible for the death of the husband.
c) External extended family influences on Marriage
Aunties, sisters and mothers have often cause chaos in marriages of their male relatives. They see themselves as being more closely related to their male relative that his wife. They want to exercise maximum freedom in that home and the wife should have little or no say in the home. If the sister-in-law objects to some of their demands, then trouble starts. They will keep an account of all that is taking place in the family until the day when their relative dies. Then they will come and revenge on the widow. Many homes have broken down due to the external influences on marriage.
d) Cultural blind Spots
Some people claim that their behavior is in accordance with their tradition and culture. What people should understand is that man is more important than culture, therefore any behavior that is dehumanizing must be discarded, since culture and tradition are meant for man and not man for tradition and culture. All cultural and traditional blind spots must be done away with.
We are not advocating the doing away with our traditions and culture as did the early missionaries who condemned everything African as superstitious and a heap of rubbish. We must maintain the values of our traditions and culture.
e) Revenge
Many women wait for a death to occur in order to sort out their differences with their sister-in-law. Others choose this time to be the best time to revenge. They beat and insult the widow for no apparent reason but to simply intimidate and later take all the property.
These people shamelessly go to the extent of framing up false accusations against the widow in order to find good reason to justify their inhuman behavior. Yes indeed widows have suffered enough, their rights must be protected. Sisters, aunties and others must stop being envious and jealous.
f) Ignorance
Many Zambians are ignorant of the Testate and Intestate and Wills Act. And to some of those may be aware of the law, there is a lack of appreciation for it. On the others hand the traditional practices are over riding the rule of law. The people’s relationship with the deceased is more important than what the law stipulates. Hence, this is why you would find people tearing a Will. They also disregard the wife’s contribution towards the acquiring of the property and claim that all that is left belong to the extended family.
g) Unfair and Weak Administrators
When an administrator is appointed to administer the deceased estate, they tend to favour the appointing “authority” who happen to be their relatives. Many of these administrators fear for their lives because they believe that if they don’t please some relatives they may end up being bewitched. Threfore fear of witchcraft is one major causes of property grabbing. It defeats the law itself.
Many administrators do not understand their role. They do not understand the difference between succession and inheritance. In succession the administrator is empowered to distribute the estate according to the law of succession, giving the right things to the right people as opposed to claiming ownership.
h) Dependency Syndrome
Parents consider their children as a form of investment. Children are an asset, this kind of dependency has contributed to property grabbing, if a son or daughter who supported the parents dies parents claim ownership of all that is left behing as their benefit. This is an effort to strengthen their economic position once and for all.
CHAPTER 2
THE SOCIALOGICAL FACTOR
Property grabbing has emerged as a big social problem in modern society. Previously when a spouse died, a man in this case, was succeeded by one of his retatives. The successor inherited all the estates and the wife was considered to be part of the property. He also took over the responsibility of looking into the welfare and up keep of the orphans. Orphans were not a problem in our society. In traditional society a successor took over both the wealth and responsibility of looking after the widow and the orphans. Society saw to it that the man concerned was accountable to the people of that community over the welfare of the surviving spouse and her children. What the children and the widow missed was the father and spouse but not other necessities of life, especially when successor was very responsible. Unlike in today’s society wher children lost both the parent and all means of survival. This is a double tragedy.
Two traditional concepts.
There are two traditional concepts among the people of Zambia, Matrilineal and Patrilineal traditional concepts.
a) Matrilineal
Bemba Luvale
Kaonde Lamba and Lima
Planteau Tonga Gwembe Valley Tonga
Ila Soli
Lenje Nsenga
Chewa
b) Patrilineal
Namwanga Lozi
Ngoni Tumbuka
Senga Lunda (North-West)
Mambwe and Lungu
On the matrilineal side children are a direct responsibility of the uncle. He is the one to look into the welfare and education of his nephews. If he dies the nephews have the right to inherit his property. The children have no right to their father’s property. They can only claim their uncle’s property. In this traditional concept a man is like a hired breeding bull whose offspring are not his direct responsibility. Another expression which carries the same philosophy is where they refer to children as “Abana bakwa Mukolwe.” This means that just as a cock can never claim ownership over the chicks it “fathered” so it is in the case of a man and his children in our matrilineal traditional concept. This explains why the uncles and aunties occupy a very significant place in the lives of nephews and nieces.
In our society when death of the male relative occurs the man’s relatives believe that they have nothing more to gain since the children do not belong to them but to the mothers’ side, their only benefit is the property that is left behind. As far as they are concerned it is not wrong to take the property for it is their entitlement. There is a very strong Bemba expression which says, “Abana maya na nyina” which means, children go with the mother. This is a very strong philosophy among our people. In today’s society there is a battle between generations and traditions. Children are rising against the nephews when it comes to property issues. Children believe they have the right to their fathers’ estates, and not the nephews as tradition advocates.
There are also cases of property grabbing among the patrilineal groups. The scourge has now taken over almost all the tribes. There are et other tribes which do not even know what property grabbing is all about. They condemn it out right and they don’t want it within their family circles. Inter tribal and interracial marriages have made even the tribes that may have not thought of taking anything from the widow to do so. It is common practice in our society to see mourners from the village hire a truck to ferry both the property and the dead to their village. After burial and other traditional practices a widow is sent back empty handed. The children are removed from their environment where they were in schools and the social life together with infrastructure is different from that of the village setup. The children’s life and future is shattered. If only the had left the widow and her children in their environment and supported them by not taking away the wealth (property) these children could grow up into resourceful and responsible citizens. That is why we strongly commend those families that are supportive to widows and orphans. There’s yet another group that is of the opinion that the only way they can keep remembering the deceased relative is by taking some of the items left behind. This could be a bed, a TV, a video, a car or a suit etc. Now, our extended family system has so many people in the family who are attached to this one man, and if each one of them wants to take something in remembrance of the deceased there could be nothing left for the widow and orphans. This is what is happening today.
There’s a dependency syndrome among our people. Parents look at children as an investment. When they grow old, these children will have to support them. A proverb like, “Kolwe wakota asabilwa nabana” which literally means an old monkey is fed or supported by its children, applies. The other proverb says, “Mayo mpapa naine nkakupapa” literally meaning that “Mother carry me on your back and I will do the same in the future,” alludes to the same. The philosophy behind these proverbs consolidates the dependency syndrome. Extended family system has encouraged unnecessary dependency on some family members. If one member has acquired some wealth, then the whole family will call at his door steps to get all forms of assistance. You would find a situation where the whole family depends on one wealthy kin. They look to this man to provide capital for those who want to start some business ventures. It is the duty of the same man to solve various problems that come into the family. This same man must foot all the funeral expenses when death occurs in the family, if he is not there they will wait for him even if it means five days of waiting.
Furthermore, you would find one man looking after ten people in his home. Some of these people are able-bodied and are married but they don’t want to work, all they do is sit under a tree and smoke as they wait for lunch to be ready. There after, they go and drink “kachasu” illicit brew and when they return they make unnecessary demands on their in-laws. They misbehave and cause confusion in the family. It is this type of dependents which crate a lot of problems. In the event of the death of the bread winner, they claim the right to all the property left and leave the widow and orphans with nothing.
SOCIAL PROBLEMS
In today’s society with AIDS on the rampage we have widows and orphans on the increase. It is not only AIDS that is killing people in our society. We have Malaria which is another major killer, although it is not politically protected as AIDS is.
So many people are in the habit of taking the property but are not willing to take up the responsibility of looking after the welfare and upkeep of the widow and her children. They have devised crafty ways of obtaining large shares of what is left by offering to look after the orphans. After they have got the money and property they chase these children away. Most of these children end up in the streets. They lose school because they have no money to pay school fees, buy books and uniforms. They go out to beg in order to survive. Soon they develop a sense of self-pity and rejection. Then they become hostile and violent.
They live in incredible pain and unbearable loneliness due to lack of parental care. They make it their mission to get everyone around them to dislike them as much as they dislike themselves. They become the most irritating, the most difficult to engage, the least dependable, and the most disruptive and destructive children.
They also become the most angry and most depressed and the most victimized children who do not know what it means to love and to be loved. Consequently they end up being hooked on drugs and alcohol. Furthermore it is the society that pays the price for the criminal and inhuman behaviour of the property grabbers.
Their behaviour promotes crime, prostitution, violence, homelessness, illiteracy, moral depravity and many other vices.
Finally we must take not e of the fact that there are very strong African family ties among our people so much that it is hard for some people to plead for the widow and her children and ensure that they get what is due to them in terms of money and property. They fear to lose their family ties, because they would be said to be betrayers of their own kin. They would rather have the orphans and widows suffer that lose a “good” name among their relatives.
The most disturbing thing is that the property grabbing has flourished even where religion is very much present. Not only do none Christians practice property grabbing but some Christians are in the forefront when it is their relative who has died. This is how some traditional practices and concepts can be very strong. People would rather lose their faith than their family ties.
It seems that as at present religious values has little impact on the sociology of the family. Maybe the methods that are being applied to effect the needed change are out of context and irrelevant.
MARRIAGE
The wrong concept of marriage among our people has contributed t o the problem we are talking about in this book.
In customary marriage there is no proper concept of the aspect of “one flesh.” This leaves room for polygamous marriages. If marriage is an exclusive relationship, the total unity of persons comprehended by the concept “one flesh” then many Zambians haven’t come to fully understand marriage, for marriage eliminates polygamy as an option. There is a common belief that a woman is not an equal partner in marriage. She is considered to be part of the man’s property. “Lobola” which has become commercialized has compounded the problem of despising a woman as an unequal partner in marriage. Some tribes in Luapula and Northern Provinces asked for very little things like bracelets, an axe, a hoe etc, to be paid as dowry “lobola.” Today the situation is different as parents are charging very high prices as “lobola.” This doesn’t make a woman an equal partner in marriage, this makes a man feel that he owns the wife just as he does own the furniture. Furthermore the high lobola prices extend ownership of the woman not only to the husband but to the relatives of the man who may have contributed to the payment of lobola. How does this believe and practice contribute to property grabbing? Relatives grab property in order to recover what they had lost in lobola payments. It is either we abolish the commercialized lobola and revert to our traditional values of asking for a token not a price, or else a woman will never be said to be an equal partner in marriage and society. A woman in one of our traditional concepts is said to be inferior in every way and her rightful place is in the kitchen. A woman is regarded as a stranger in her own home. Sisters, brothers, aunties etc to the man have more power in the home than his wife.
Sometimes the man’s relatives are treated like “Holy Cows” which must be left alone. The wife should not interfere with all that these people may want to do in her home This creates a lot of problems especially when the woman tries to exercise her rights in her home. They will accuse her of chasing them from her home by way of her “behaviour.” This triggers a chain of problems especially in homes where husbands blindly side with their relatives. If the wife tries to mange her home in the way she wants to, her in-laws take offence and label her as a bad woman who does not want them at her home. In the event of death of a spouse this may lead to ill treatment of widows and to property grabbing. There is no security in this kind of marriage; it is an illusive kind of security.
Another thing that cannot go without comment is the fact that in traditional marriage, marriage is more of a treaty between families than a covenant between two people. This has led to excessive external extended family influences on marriage which is a curse on many marriages.
Again under traditional marriage death does not terminate this marriage “treaty,” that is why a person is selected from the deceased’side to succeed his or her relative. He inherits the property and the widow and continues to maintain the relationship and make it better, thus fulfilling the “law” of perpetual succession. If the widow chooses not to be succeeded then it is required of her that she must be cleansed by having sex with one of the deceased relative, only then can she be declared free.
On the other hand under British law a man and woman become one at law thus the expression, “My better half.” Under this law marriage is a contract. The wife is an equal partner in marriage. In this law death terminates the contract. In case of death of the spouse the property devolves upon the surviving spouse absolutely. This may have its own weaknesses. Under this kind of marriage some people marry for the weaknesses. Under this kind marriage some people marry for the sake of riches. What is the motive behind a 20 year old girl marrying a 70 years old man?
Apart from traditional marriages in Zambia we do have statutory marriages which create more security than traditional marriages because of the in-built legal technicalities that ensure that a marriage does not dissolve on flimsy grounds.
We would like to note that there is no system or institution that is perfect under the sun but yet we are challenged to work hard to improve on what is in existence and make it better.
FEAR OF WITCHCRAFT
Witchcraft has been used to consolidate the scourge of property grabbing. Anyone who tries to claim the right to the property contrary to the wish of the relatives of the deceased person will be threatened with witchcraft. It is not the widow only but also any other person that shows interest in the estate and wants to take it will be threatened. Some have gone ahead to bewitch those who have taken the property they very much wanted to take. Many Zambians strongly believe in witchcraft. Although some may not practice it, they nevertheless believe that it works. Because of this, a good number of our people are much afraid of witchcraft. That is why some people find it easy to threaten widows and orphans out of their property.
Generally our people are afraid of death. You will find that even if someone dies of natural cause they will seek to know the cause of death from a witch doctor. They believe that every death is caused by someone through witchcraft practices. There is no natural death as far as they are concerned. They simply can’t accept death.
EFFECTS OF PROPERTY GRABBING:
a) Disintegrating of family unites
When all the property is grabbed the widow and orphans disintegrate due to lack of means of survival. This has an adverse effect on the prersons concerned and on the nation as a whole. Family unites are foundational to any form of national development.
b) Street kids
When the orphans are left with the widow or are taken up by someone to be looked after, they often end up on the streets due to various reasons. Sometimes it is due to the cruelty of the guardians who consider orphans as an extra burden.
They ill treat and abuse these children until they run to the streets. On the other hand a widow may try to meet the needs of her family but fails due to her limited resources. Eventually children will go to the streets to find some means of livelihood. Those who take up the responsibility of looking after these children should do so with gladness as a service unto the Lord. These children should feel accepted as part of the family.
c) Crime
These kids feel despised, victimized and rejected by society. They see society as a cruel society and therefore they want to take revenge on it. They resort to criminal activities ranging from robberies to murder, assault to rape case etc. Eventually the society becomes too dangerous to live in.
d) Prostitution
Young girls turn themselves into prostitutes in order to earn themselves an income. This makes them vulnerable to contracting HIV and ending up with AIDS. This explains why we have so many cases of young people dying in great numbers. Quite a good number of street kids are those without parents.
e) Drug and alcohol abuse
Most of the street kids end up being hooked on drugs and alcohol. In order to bury their sorrows and worries, they resort to being hooked on drugs and alcohol.
f) Homelessness
Widows and orphans are often left homeless. this makes it impossible for them to have a smooth settling after the loss. There are too many things to worry about, where can this widow take her seven children? Who will be looking after them?
g) Poverty
Property grabbing brings poverty to the victims. They become destitute overnight. They become beggers regardless of how hard working the victim might have been before the loss.
h) Illiteracy
Due to the lack of financial and material resources widows fail to support their children ins school, as a result they are out of school. Property grabbing makes a society illiterate.
i) Retards development
There is no continuation on what the deceased was doing for development and well being of mankind. All that the relatives are interested in is their own survival and not survival of the company or whatever the deceases was managing. It is very surprising to see that some people grab even the things they will not use. They plunder everything; they are as destructive as locusts.
That is why some people have resorted to living a life whereby they do invest in serious business for fear of the property grabbers. They have adopted the Epicurean philosophy which says, “let us eat and drink for tomorrow we die.”
Property grabbing has greatly contributed to the increase in social problems in our society today. It must be stopped right away.
CHAPTER 3
LEGAL ASPECT
The Law of Succession
When a person dies he either leaves a will or does not at all.
A person who leaves a will specifies to whom his property should pass. Such a person is said to have died TESTATE. If another person dies withouth leaving a will, he is said to have died INTESTATE. His estates descends to his heirs at law. These are people who receive the deceased’s property by operation of the law. This the meaning of succession.
In 1989 Zambian parliament passed a law entitled, “The Intestate Succession Act No 5.”
You may wonder why we should have such a law. The issue of widows’, widowers’ and children’s right is very controversial one. Peole feel that the law has interfered in what would otherwise have been “internal” or “family” matters.
The law of succession is the law that governs the distribution of the property left by a deceased person who has not left a will. It is common knowledge that Zambians do not write wills. Therefore it means that most of the estates remain to be governed by this act.
The intestate succession act is an illegitimate offspring of the British law and customary law. It has taken into account a lot of factors that are much prevalent in our Zambian society.
A long time ago individual persons in Zambia did not own property of their own instead the property was owned communally. No one could say, this is my house, or this is my cattle for most of these things cam in by way of marriage or inheritance etcetera.
You may wonder what was happening before the law was passed in 1989. A person who died intestate before 1989 had his property administered in accordance with the customary law of the deceased.
A lot of difficulties arose from such a situation. Take for instance what customary law was to be applied in inter-tribal or inter-racial marriages or to non-Zambian residents or yet to Zambians outside their tribal areas?
What are general objectives of the intestate succession act?
The act was intended to :
a) Provide a uniform succession law that would be applicable throughout Zambia;
b) To make adequate financial and other provisions for the surviving spouse, children, dependents and other relatives of an intestate;
c) To provide for the administration of the estate of persons dying not having made a will and
d) Provide generally for matters touching upon the above objects.
BENEFICIARIES:
1) Children of the deceased are entitiled to 50% shares of the property. This includes illegitimate or adopted children and those conceived but not yet born.
2) The surviving spouse(s)-20%. Where there is moer than one widow the amount would be distributed among them proportional to length of marriage. But other factors such as contribution to the family property is considered where justice so required. The law recognizes polygamous marriages and illegitimate children.
3) Parenst of the deceased-20%
4) Dependents (meaning persons maintained by deceases and who lived with him/her or whose education was being provided for by the deceased(-10%
There is no automatic benefit to brothers, sisters, uncles etc. However, a beneficiary can decide to assign or redistribute his or her share to non beneficiaries.
By personal chattels we mean articles of personal movable property such as clothing furniture and furnishing utensils, articles of personal use or adornment, and all other articles of household use or decoration, simple agricultural equipment, hunting equipment, books, motor vehicles and consumable stores.
In a monogamous marriage, all thes go to the surviving spouse and children equally and absolutely.
It must be noted that chattels used for business purposes, money or secutities for money are not included. Where estate includes House; the surviving spouse and the children shall be entitled to that house to hold as tenats in common with surviving spouse having only a life interest in that house which interest shall determine upon remarriage. If there is more than one house they shall take one, and the other house to form part of the distributable estate.
Some offenses and penalties;
1) Unlawful depriving a beneficiary of his property or share of property
2) Unlawfully interfering with the beneficiary’s use of the property or share of property. The present penalty for these offenses is (at the time of writing this book): up to K3000 fine or imprisonment up to 2 years or both.
ADMINISTRATOR
Who can be appointed administrator?
Any person “interested” in the estate may apply, and if more than one, then the court will look at who has greater and immediate interests in the deceased’s estate, up to a maximum of four(4) persons. The beneficiaries have a say on who should be administrators. Where no one applied, Administrator General or Creditor may be appointed.
It is important to not that a widow is also qualified to be appointed administrator. In face she has immediate and greater interest. A guardian my similarly be appointed.
What are the duties and powers of an administrator?
1) To pay the debts and funeral expenses of the deceased
2) To effect distribution of estate according to the Act
3) To produce an account to the court when called upon to do so.
4) Where the sale of estate property is deserved, Administrator may sell with the authority of the court.
It is important to not that an administrator or guardian shall not derive any pecuniary (monetory or material) benefit from his office.
Revocation of Appointment:
The court may revoke letters of administration for various reasons, for example:
1) The proceedings through which they were obtained were defective,
2) They were obtained fraudulently,
3) They were obtained through an untrue statement of face essential in point of law to justify a grant,
4) The grant has become of no use and in-operative
5) Administrator has failed to give an account of his administration without good reason.
It is an offense for an administrator to fail without good reason to deliver up revoked letters of administration.
And it is punishable up to K500 fine or three months imprisonment or both.
Furthermore as an administrator or guardian depriving a minor of property or share of property and intending benefit therefrom, if proven guilty will be fined up to K2000 or one year imprisonment or both, plus order for restitution.
A WILL
WHAT IS A WILL?
A will is a declaration made in writing, during a person’s lifetime of his wishes concerning the distribution of his property after his death. The conditions can only be implemented after the death of the Testator or Testetrix and must take into account of the facts as they were at the date of the death not at the time that the will was made. The will cannot confer benefits while the Testator or Testetrix is alive: Act No 6, of 1989, Wills and Administration of Testate Estaet, of the Laws of Zambia is the legal instrument and authority is Zambia.
There are may reasons why Zambians do not write wills:
a) The main reason being that many of those who have not made wills have no or do not own property.
b) Even where they own property, the fact is that property is held under customary law and it has to be distributed in accordance with the customary law (e.g. cattle, guns etc).
c) Many people including some educated people believe that writing a will is like committing suicide. Even some learned lawyers have said that within three years of one’s writing a will one is likely to die.
d) The working spouse or the bread winner believes that all the property in the house belongs to himself or herself. Sometimes you find that a couple has shared their property into two and have communicated the same to their respective families. The items bought by the husband from his earnings are his and the wife claims ownership on all that she has purchased from her earnings.
In general, customary law does not recognize that a person may vary the customary rules for inheritance of property by means of a written instrument (Will) to take effect on his death.
The two major reasons why people make a will are to:
1) ensure that the Testator or Testatrix’s acquired property is passed on to whom he wishes and;
2) dispose of his property to those he wishes as opposed to those who would like to take it (grab it).
Is the law sufficient to protect widows and orphans?
Having seen all te rights and duties imposed by law on question of succession, it is a concluded fact that there is sufficient law to protect the surviving spouse, however imperfect for the time being.
This may sound a contradiction in terms in that despite the extistence of the Intestate Act widows and orphans have continued to suffer at the hands of the deceased’s relatives. The cases of property grabing and ill-treatment of widows and orphans are on the increase. What are the reasong? There are many reasons for this; first it must be understood that it is not a question of how much law we must have but it is a question of how well are the people appreciating, using and enforcing the existing law. The people whom the law is intended to protect have gone out to defeat the law itself.
In spite of the law there are countervailing forces which are defeating the law.
What are these forces?
a) The law says; “fifty percent of the estate shall devolve upon the children in such proportion as are commensurate with a child’e age or educational needs or both.” Today it is a common practice that a member of the family promises to look after the orphans with a view to receive the fifty percent due to the children and having misused it he then sends the children back to the mother who by this time has nothing to survive on because everything she had was grabbed upon her husband’s death.
b) Traditional practices are defeating the law.
When a widow ventures into following up family property issues, the deceased’s relatives swear never to “cleanse” her. “Cleansing” is one of the strong traditional practices, wehre a widow is made to have sex with one of the deceased’s relatives or brother with a view to exorcise the ghost which is said to have haunted the widow. It is believed that if a spouse dies he or she leaves the surviving spouse with his or her ghost. Therefore to remain uncleansed is as good as being cursed and an oucast of society. Cleansing is very important to the widow or widower if she or her is to be considered acceptable in society.
The position of lepers in the nation of Israel in the bible days would be the most suitable comparison to that of a widow in Zambia today.
c) The fear of witchcraft is another serious problem. Many widows have opted to remain silent and never take legal acton against property grabbers for the fear of witchcraft. Relatives to widows have also contributed to the oppressing of widows I that the advise them not to challenge the in-laws or relatives by means of legal action because she may end up having herself and all her children killed through witchcraft.
d) Ignorant and Oppressive Police Officers
Many police officers have exhibited ignorance about the law of succession. They have often misdirected widows by sending them away when they report lose of their property. The police say that the case in question is of civil nature and must be dealt with domestically between herself and the deceased’s family. However this case is also a criminal offence which carries custodial sentence fro the guilty.
There are yet other policemen who for the fear of witchcraft do not want to deal with the culprits according to the law.
They feel they can not interfere in what they think would otherwise have been “internal” or “family matters. This where the problem starts. If the law enforcement agencies can have such a negative attitude to the law of succession how then can this law take effect on the society?
Chapter 4
ECONOMIC FACTOR
Mass poverty which is as a result of decline of village and urban economy has contributed to the increase in cases of property grabbing. Majority of our people in Zambia are living below the poverty datum line thus the situation of mass poverty in the nation. We can say that property grabbing is a dynamic response to poverty. The causes of this situation are vast, they range from political to economic, social to cultural. The forces that influence the political and economics of our countries in Africa lie beyond our own boundaries. The IMG is the architect of the “adjustment” programmes that create serious hardships for low income groups leading to mass poverty among the debtor countries which are stagggering under the debt burden. Having completed the Structural Adjustment Programme, Zambia has now moved into Enhanced Adjustment Programme but the question is Will this programmed list the burden from the poor who are dying under the effects of the Structural Adjustment Programme? For how long will the poor keep on tightening their belts?
The Structural Adjustment Program has provided an enabling environment for property grabbing to flourish and take root. This may not be the design or aim of the architects of the adjustment program, however it has contributed to the problem of property grabbing.
The mismanagement of our resources by our people when in authority and possible fund embezzlement coupled with the negative attitude or our people towards work has led to mass poverty.
Mass Poverty
Many people are out of employment and have no means of survival. When some of these people hear of the death of their kin, they rush to the funeral house to go and gain something from the property left. Funerals have become a means of gain. We can rightly say it is now a “business” in itself. Funerals of rich men are well attended while those of people of humble circumstances are deserted.
The economic position of a property grabber picks up overnight when he property grabs. While that of the widow and orphans nose dives to zero. They become destitute and beggers after the death of the spouse and parent. If the deceased had a business or companies, relatives will mismanage them and later sell them off. This is very retrogressive indeed. Economically a nation will never develop with such attitudes and behaviours going on unchecked.
Who wants to invest in what won’t be of benefit to himself and to his wife and children?
Property grabbing has made many people lazy, they lie in wait for their wealthy kin to die so that they may grab the wealth. They want to reap where they did not sow.
On the other hand, the widow tries to survive by getting into business ventures. Mostly widows find themselves at the market selling some merchandise as a way of survival but due to lack sufficient capital and business skills, their businesses become bankrupt. Even in situations where a widow may have sufficient capital and skills they end up being bankrupt due to the heavy responsibility taken on single handedly. Sh has moved from a situation where she had shared responsibilities with the husband to a situation where she shoulders all the responsibilities in a home.
There are some cases where relatives collect the money lefty by the deceases and give the widow her share but they will leave the funeral house, they will continue asking the widow to buy food for the remaining mourners. At the end of their stay the widow will remain with nothing to live o. But they will claim to have given the widow the share that is due to herself.
The economy of the county is affected due to property grabbing in that there’s no continuation in whatever the deceased was doig fro the development of the nation. No one is willing pursue the plans of their deceased relative. They are more interested in immediate benefit.
If the man had a business or company, it will not survive and if it does it will never be the same.
Presently ours is an economy without effective social security, the government must put in place some social security of some kind. A deliberate policy on bursaries for orphans must be put in place. In Europe social security encourages independence. There are no dependents in Europe because of the nuclear family system which is different from our extended family system. Since we cannot study change family systems, society must get united and protect the rights of widows and orphans.
What is the extended family system for if it kills the next generation? What is it for if it destabilizes and destroys marriages? What is it for if it brings poverty and hardships because of the unnecessary dependency, which simply increases the number of lazy people? With death on the rampage a social safety net must be put in place to cushion and protect the widow and orphans. It will encourage independence and make people work for whatever they need.
CHAPTER 5
THEOLOGICAL ASPECT
What does God say on the plight of widows and orphans? The following scriptures reveal the mind of god on this subject:
a) “A father of the fatherless and judge for the widows, is God in his holy habitation,” Psalm 68:5.
b) “you shall not afflict any widow or orphan. If you afflict him at all, and if he does cry out to me, I will surely hear his cry; and my anger will kindled, and I will kill you with the sword; and you rwives shall become widows, and your children fatherless.” (Exodus 22:22-24).
c) “Woe to those who enact eveil statute, and those who constantly record unjust decisions, so as to deprive the needy of justice, and to rob te poor of my people of their rights.In order that widows may be their spoil, and that they may plunder the orphans.’ Now what will you do in the day of punishment, and in the devastation which wil come from afar? To whom will you flee for help? And where will you leave your wealth?” Isaiah 10:1-3
Apart from being judge of the widows and a father of the fatherless, God has revealed himself as the provider. In the law of tithes he says,
a) “At the end of every third year you shall bring out all the tithe of your produce in that year, and shall deposit it in your town.” And the levite because he has no portion or inheritance among you, and the alien, the orphan and the widow who are in your town, shall come and eat and be satisfied, in order that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hand which you do.” Deuteronomy 14:28-29
b) “You shall not pervet the justice due an alien or an orphan, nor take a widw’s garment to pledge…When you reap your harvestin your fiel, and have forgotten a sheaf in the field, you shall not go back to get it; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan and for the widow; in order that the Lord you God may bless you in all the work of your hands.” Deuteronomy 24:17,19
c) “For the Lord God is the God of gods, and Lord of lords, a great God, a might and terrible God, which regardeth not persons, nor taketh reward: he doth execute the judgment of the fatherless and widow and loveth the stranger in giving him food and raiment.” Deuteronomy 10: 18
It is important to not that to ill treat widows and orphans is to make oneself an enemy of God and an object of his wrath. It is like poking one’s finger in the eyes of God. Any nation whose peole disregard widows and orphans is a cursed nation and an object of wrath.
Therefore efforts must be made by society to cushion the widows and orphans in their suffering. The Lord will bless our economy if as a nation we seriously address ourselves to plight of widows and orphans in our economic for a.
What is the right attitude and behaviour towards widows and orphans?
People must realise that widowhood is something that can happen to anyone at anytime. Therefore people should have compassion and be sympathetic to the widow and orphans. There is no better time to show our love and compassion to the widow than this one. Jesus said, “Love they neighbour as you love yourself.”
Widows and orphans must be visited, encouraged and comforted. We must speak for them and protect them against property grabbers. We must help them start rebuilding what is left behind
The scripture says,
“This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and father is this, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneslft unstained b the world” James 1:27
The church today has been too silent over this matter of widows and orphans and yet widows are mentioned 84 times in the Bible; 15 times with the fatherless. Both were especially cared for under the law.
Today we find a situation wher individual Christian have been in the forefront of property grabbing and ill-treatment of widows and orphans especially if they are in a placy where their testimony as Christians is not known. This is shameful and a great sin which needs repentance.
It is strange to note that no such offenders have ever been know to have been excommunicated from the church fro propert grabbing and ill treatment of widows and orphans. It is either the church doesn’t understand the gravity of this matter or they just don’t care about the victims.
The church is supposed to preach the all council of God which includes relieving the oppressed. We need anointed preachers to rise and preach powerfully and consistently against his evil and immoral practice, which is rampant in our society today.
Isaiah the prophet whose name means “Yahweh is salvation” preached judgement upon immoral and adulterous men. He also preached a message of hope. The messiah is come to bear a cross and wear a crown. He went further to condemn the ill treatment of widows and orphans.
“They princes are rebellious and companions of thieves: Everyone loveth gifts and followeth after rewards: they judge not the fatherless, neither doth the cause of the widow come unto them.” Isaiah 1:23
“Learn to do good, seek justice, relieve the oppressed, vindicate the fatherless, plead for the widow.” Isaiah 1:17.
Liberating and relieving the oppressed is the part of the gospel, therefore, in the same way we have preached the message of salvation, deliverance and healing, we must as well preach the liberation of widows and orphans.
Apart from nursing the effects of widowhood we must deal with the root cause of property grabbing. Some churches and non Christian organization have put up orphanages to help alleviate the sufferings of orphans and give them education. These are facing serious financial problems. A lasting solution to this problem must be found if they are to effectively manage these institutions and achieve their objectives. Furthermore there are more orphans being left behind with no one to look after them. Therefore quick measure must be put in place to contain the situation.
Individual Ministries.
Individual business men and women and Christians must come up with some way Ministeing to widows and orphans. They must consider including these institutions in their annual budgets bearing in mind that even our own children may become orphans one day. This will lessen the burden on the church ad government’s shoulders.
Dorcas
She is a shining example. She was full of good works and alms deeds. She had a Ministry to the Widows and when she died all the widows wept and showed the coats and garments which Dorcas had made while she was with them. The Lord through Peter raised her from the dead, making all the widows glad again, and the people at Joppa glorified God. (Act 9:36-43.)
Collective Ministry
The church as a body must have a ministry to the widows and orphans. The early church had this kind of Ministry and it was the source of early church conflict.
“And in thos days when the number of the disciples multiplied, there arose murmering of the Grecians against the Hebrews, because their widows were neglected in the daily ministration. Then the twelved called the multitudes of disciples unto them, and said, it is not reason that we should leave the word of God, and serve tables.”
By the statement: “It is not reason that we should leave the word of God and serve tables” the apostles did not imply that the ministry of widows and orphans is of less importance in the Bible, and all they were doing was to delegate part of the responsibility to other disciples. As you may be aware of apostles had specific missions to carry out. Peter had a ministry to the Jews; Paul had a ministry to Gentiles. At the time of conflict the apostles wanted to spend more time in prayer and to the ministry of the word. The fact that disciples were distributing foodstuff etc to the widows shows that the apostles had recognized the plight of widows and orphans. They attached great importance to this Ministry that they called upon the disciples to choose seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom to serve the tables. The people chose Stephen, a man full of faith and the Holy Ghost and Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas and Nicolas a proselyte of Antioch.
The apostles ministerd to the spiritual and physical needs of the people. NO wonder the word of God increased and the number of disciples multiplied in Jerusalem greatly, and priests because obedient to the faith.
What type of widows should a church look after?
The church’s priority group is that which is within its membership. “as we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who aer of the household of faith” Galatians 6:10.
The widows in the church are also categorized.
a) Widows-indeed
These are those who are desolate trusteth in God, continue in prayer and supplication night and day. These are those who are well reported for good works. One that has diligently followed every good work. A good example is that of Anna the prophetess in Luke 2:36-38.
The widows-indeed must not be less than sixty years of age.
The church has a responsibility of looking after these people. “But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show pity at home and to requite their parents for that is good and acceptable before God”
Widows indeed who may have those who can support them, those relative or individual Christians let tem do so, so that the church can only relieve the widows indeed.
b) Younger Widows
The younger widows should not be taken upon to be relieved by the church. They are encouraged to marry, bear children, guide the house, give no occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. The church encourages them to be self-reliant and hard working, instead of being dependent on others for their survival.
“Let not a widow be taken into the number under three score years, having been wife of one man 1 Timothy 5:9
The church would assist when the tragedy has occurred up to time when the victim has recovered enough to start her new life all over again. This also will depend on the leading of the Holy Spirit, the great comforter.
The main reason why younger widows should not be taken on the list of widows-indeed is that, “..for when they have began to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. An withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and no only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.”1Timothy 5:11-13.
The Holy Bible encourages godliness in all our struggles as Christians. Ruth was a younger widow and she was determined to survive. She loved her mother-in-law Naomi and took care of her. She refused to leave her, instead she crave to her and said,
“Entreat me not to leave thee, nor to return from following after thee, for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. They people shall be my people, and they God my God, where thou diest I will, and there will I be buried..” Ruth 1:16-17
Ruth sets a good standard for younger widows of how they ought to relate to their in laws. She further demonstrates how a widow can start her life all over again. It may not be exactly the same in different situations but some ideas may be the same.
RUTH
1. She was a godly woman even before bereavement.
2. She lived in harmony with her mother in law and other peole around. She was full of good works. She found favour in the sight of God and the people around her. At one time she marveled at the grace a certain rich man by the name of BOAZ showed her. In reply Boaz said, “It hath fully showed me all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband; and how thou hast left thy father and thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knowest not heretofore. The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.” Ruth2: 11-13.
3. She was not too proud to do the least of the jobs. She was willing to work hard for her survival, regardless of what people would say. She humbled herself as she went and gleaned behind the reapers in Boaz’s field. If Ruth had allowed herself to be overwhelmed by the loss of her husband she was not going to overcome the problems that where ahead of her.
4. Ruth paid attention to mature counsel from Naomi. Ruth obeyed the wise and godly counsel and said,
“All that thou sayest unto me I will do” Ruth 3:5 Obedience to wise and godly counsel is of great importance to all people.
5. She regarded the tradition of the people at that time. She was godly but had respect for the traditions and culture of the people among whom she lived. Through her obedience Ruth got married to Boaz and bore a son whom he called Obed, the father of Jesse, the father of David.
What must the Church do?
1. Prepare Its People. Many people in the Church and outside the Church, are dying leaving their spouses and families unprepared emotionally, economically socially a nd psychologically. Majority of our people are like one of the sons of the proplhets who left the widow in debt. The creditors wanted to take her two sons to be slaves, (2 Kings 4:1-7).
It took God’s miracle through his servant Elijah to save the situation.
The Church must teach the members:
a. How to handle problems. Christians must understand that they are not exempted from suffering, but when suffering comes they have an assurance and hope in the Lord Jesus. We have the Comforter by our side to encourage, comfort and direct us. Problems are not a problem bur our response to problems is the problem. Instead of having a positive response we tend to respond negatively. Problems will either build you or crush you. The cross of Jesus Christ must be elevated enough for the bereaved to anchor on. What is greater than the resurrection from the dead? Christ has assured us life after death.
“I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he where dead, yet shall he live, and whosever liveth and believeth in me shallnever die. Believest thou this” John 11:25,26
People must realise that success or blessing does not solve the problems but brings in a new set of problems.
b. Parents must teach the family how to rebuild what is left. They must live exemplary before their children. Discipline them to work for what they want, by so doing you are making them responsible and getting rid of the spirit of dependency which is a serious problem among our people today. Families must move away from a situation where the father is the sole provider of all that the family needs. So much that if he died then the whole family will not know where to start from. A responsible husband must work side by side with his wife in business or find her something to do on her own rather than keep her at home doing nothing.
We need virtuous women to emerge (Proverbs 31: 10 – 31) women who are like a merchant’s ship. If a woman is to fully utilize her human potential, husbands must create an enabling environment and provide resources for her to do so.
c. Avoid excessive engrossment.
We must not be engrossed in anything at the expense of our families. The time people waste in bars and other social gatherings should not take first priority. The son of the prophets we read about in 2 Kings 4 was busy prophesying but never prepared his family so that when he died he left his wife and children in debt.
d. People must learn to use what they have in their hands.
The widow filled vessels with the little oil she had in her pot. When she sold the oil in vessels she paid the debts left by her husband and redeemed her two sons.
God is able to bless the works of our hands. He is able to perform miracles from what we have in our hands or within us.
Moses had a rod in his hands by the miracle of God it became a serpent.
At the wedding of Cana Jesus changed water into wine. It is out of the water that was there that a miracle was performed.
Jesus fed five thousand people from few loaves of bread and few fishes.
We serve a wonder working God who performs great miracles.
You may not need great capital to start a business, start with what you have in your coffers, prayerfully committing the same to Jesus. He will eventually prosper you.
e. Witchcraft is not a terror to Christians
Witchcraft is there and it works among those people who believe in it. To simply say it is not there doesn’t solve the problem of an African and others who believe that witchcraft is there.
In Israel it was required that any witch or wizard must be stoned to death. If God says witchcraft is there who are we to refute that? If Satan is there then witchcraft is there for his aim is to steal, kill and destroy. It is this fear of witchcraft that has defeated the law of succession in Zambia. Widows are unable to take legal action against property grabbers due to the threats by the deceased relatives to kill the widow and her children.
The church must therefore provide a solution to the fear of witchcraft among our people. In most of the workshops we have conducted around the country it has frequently come to light in most group discussions that faith in Jesus Christ provides security and protection against witchcraft.
f. The other fear that must be done away with is that of having or being haunted by a Ghost after the loss of the spouse. People must accept the fact that there are no ghosts, if is the devil’s manifestations, he brings visions of the people we know who have died. They are merely mental pictures which the devil take advantage of to their own destruction.
Fear is what destroys many of our people. Those who have no fear of Ghosts have gone on living freely and no misfortune of being haunted has befallen them. Often times Jesus said to people who needed help, “According to your faith let it be done” Those who are victims of Ghosts are not under the protection of the blood of Jesus. Because of their unbelief the devil has taken advantage of their faithlessness. Christ has defeated the devil once and for all. To those who believe in Christ cleansing is not necessary, but this should not be imposed on non Christians or weak Christians.
You may be interested to know whether the law of perpetual families that we read about in Deuteronomy 25: 5-10 justifies the presence of a ghost on the widow. No, it does not do so because in Israel the succession was meant to continue the family and maintain the name of the deceased, not to get rid of the non existent ghost. Succession was very common even in bible days.
Matthew 22:23-33; Ruth 3:1-4:1-22
Finally the cross must be preached more accurately so that Christians must not give up the cross in times of crisis. Some Christians have gone out to consult witch doctors in times of crisis. The message of the cross has not been inculcated in their hearts.
What does a widow go through at the time and after the loss?
Grief and bereavement.
The widow goes through grief and bereavement. Grief is an intense emotional suffering caused by personal loss. There’s acute sorrow deep sadness, suffering, pain and anguish. Grief is actually many feelings that occur at the same time: sadness, confusion, anger hopelessness, resentment, worry and more. All these get misxed up within the “Loss Pot” of the widow.
LOSS POT
Pain,
Worry,
Confusion,
Depression,
Disappointment,
Helplessness, Resentment
And Anguish
This is an experience that can be experienced by anyone who loses the person he loves so much. The degree of grief that one feels depends on the importance of the loss.
Bereavement is a sad and lonely state due to loss such as death of a loved one. The bereft often feels that her or his experience is unique, that no one has ever endured such a loss. With all these facts in mind it is important that the church intensifies counseling among the people. Spiritual counselors would provide lasting solutions to the people who may be grieving. The church is in a better position to help more people within our society because of the respect and confidence the people have for God and his Ministers who have always been at hand in times of need.
There are many losses that our people are going through therefore counseling is very important. Life is now centered on funerals and sicknesses.
CYCLE OF HEALING
There are however cycles of healing to the pattern of grief, which permit the sorrowing to recover in due time. Some people, however, continue grieving for long periods.
The Cycle4
- Initial shock of death
- Emotional release: This is a period of release. Emotions must not be suppressed for they can cause other problems. It has been a practice of some churches to shut mourners up unnecessarily. This makes those who mourn feel guilty as if God forbids mourning. Again too much mourning is dangerous. Everything must be kept in balance.
Remember that even Jesus wept at the death of the man he loved, Lazarus.
- Loneliness and depression
There are many symptoms of depression. The sense of loss is often related to the degree of dependence on the deceased.
- Guilt: “I could have done something more: or :I could have something different” etc.
- Anger, hostility “Why did God do this to me. What wrong have I done?”
- Stage of inertia: There’s restlessness, “I can’t get on without it”, I could not care less.”
- The return to reality and normalcy: admitting the loss and adjusting to it.
STRESS
We can’t afford closing this chapter without talking bout stress and how to handle stress. Many people are under stress. Loss of a partner is one of the great stressors.
Stress is the strain on our minds when we are faced with difficult situations. Stress has no good or bad about it. Stress is not necessarily a negative force. What is wrong is our attitude. A good mental attitude to stress can change stress for a good end.
Something must be done about stress before something goes wrong in our lives. Hyperstress can be distractive to both our physical and our emotional well being. Never repree stress into your subconscious for it will eventually begin to programme your behaviour.
SOLUTION
- Resolve to reverence and obey God at all times in all situations. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Peter and the Apostles said, “we must obey God rather than men” Acts 5:29. Job lost all his property and children at one. In response he sad, “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 2:21
- Develop a constant, positive attitude and approach to life. “Anxiety in a man’s heart weights him down, but a good word makes him glad” Proverbs 12:25. At the time when Job needed encouragement and comfort his friend and the wife condemned him. At one time his wife said to him, “Do you still maintain you integrity? Curse God and die. But he (Jog) said unto her, “You speak like one of the foolish women speaks. What? Shall we received good at the hand of God and shall not receive evil?”
In all this Job did not sin with his lips, (Job 2: 9-9). It is this kind of positive response that we need every day.
Turn your stress to God in prayer. Prayer is the key to relieving stress. Remember that the Lord is never stressed he has promised to take your burdens away. (Matthew 11:28-30) “rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice.” (Philip 4:4) Joy releases stress. Don’t go about complaining, stressing everyone around you.
YES NO, NEVER
- Relax
Get your mind off the cause of stress for a moment. This can only be done by your mental choice not with self prescribed alcohol and drugs which are a wrong way of relaxing. Drugs and alcohol only create more stress. Exercises are also another way of relaxing. All we can say is slow down.
- Manage your time.
Time is one of our most important assets. It can either be managed effectively or mismanaged. With poor time management you will always be under stress because nothing else will be managed.
Peter Druker said, “Time is the scarce resources and unless it is managed nothing else can be managed.: Set your priorities right.
- Choose to avoid some places that induce stress
- Some entertainments we pursue
- Loud, dissonant sounds, with verbal themes that centre on violence, crime and interpersonal tragedy etc.
- Improve general health
A physically fit person can cope with a vast amount of pressure he is adaptable, positive and generally hopeful. To improve health consider the importance of diet, exercise, rest getting plenty of sun shine and developing self control.
CONCLUSION
It is my sincere prayer that the contents of this book may not be taken as a mere academic exercise but should be a source of inspiration and encouragement towards positive action. You do not need to be a victim of property grabbing in order to appreciate the importance of this subject. We hop you will be part of the solution to this problem than being part of the problem.
Finally we wish to make the following recommendations:
To the Government.
1. That through the Ministry of Legal Affairs, the current law of succession which ahs a number of weaknesses be reviews and amended.
2. That through the Ministry of Community and Social Services, Networking with NGOs, Civic Education be intensified on succession rights in all Government departments.
3. That though the Ministry of Education Government should provide sufficient funds for the education of double orphaned children dn also ensure that their school places are maintained and given concession rates for school fees for those who have lost one parent
4. That the penalties for the offence of property grabbing be revised and updated.
5. That a clause in the law should be added to guide employer to give at least a minimum of six months for widow/wider to vacate company accommodation.
6. That the Local Government encourages the formation of orphan hood widow hood support groups in the communities which would act as sources of empowerment for the new widows.
7. That the widows/widowers or relatives of the deceased are paid the benefits early to help them settle in life immediately.
8. Polygamous marriages must be discouraged by not recognizing it in the law of succession, reason being that it has become a death trap and is multiplying the number of orphans and destitute children. Only the first wife should be recognized in the distribution of the estates.
If society cannot obey the Lord’s command of “One man, one wife” then they must obey the “AIDS” command.
To the Church
1. That the Church should be actively involved in civic mattes including the law of succession and use all channels of communication at her disposal to disseminate information against the evil of property grabbing, Cleansing must be stopped especially in our modern and HIV/AIDS torn society.
2. That the Church should use its authority in teaching against the threats of witchcraft which is a common weapon used by property grabbers to induce fear and disempower the widow.
General Recommendations:
1. That the widow or surviving spouse should be the administrator or core administrator of the estate.
2. That the children should be in the custody of the surviving spouse unless where both parents are dead when the legal administrator should take over custody.
3. That the empowering seminars such as those being conducted under the leadership of Re. Paul Bupe be supported sot that they may frequently hold these seminars.
It is worthy noting that there are more orphans being left by victims of AIDS today than ever before. This generation is becoming a generation of orphans and widows. This shows the importance and seriousness of the matter.
DEDICTION
This Book is dedicated to my wife Catherine and the children: Faith, Hope, Paul Jr. and David for their patience and co-operation as I spent several hours writing it.
May God bless you.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
This book could not have been possible had it not been for the consistent support and input from different people from various backgrounds.
My heartfelt thanks go to the following:
The member of Bethel AME Church especially the Women Missionary Society and in particular Mrs. Evelyn Miyambo, Mrs. Elizabeth Mupopwe, and Mrs. Joyce Ngosa whose tireless efforts made our civic Education Seminars a success, Mrs. Christine Mulapwa for typing the script.
I also thank all the legal experts whose input has been very helpful.
The tem of the SUDG Project staff headed by Dr. Georgia Bowser deserves special recognition. The funds that made the publication of this book possible were sourced from SUDG Project, to which we are grateful.
Finally, I wish to pay special tribute to my close associates and co-workers who read though the script and gave helpful suggestions, namely, Rev. Victor Chabala and Rev. Israel Simbaya both of Ndola.